Drunken Accusations
by gwenstacey
Summary: After finding a drunken Ebisu in the streets, Hinata literally brings the problem to Iruka's door step. No pairings, just lots of drunken fun at Ebisu's expense


Hinata was strolling down the streets of Konoha, admiring the way the afternoon light bathed the top of the trees and just taking her sweet time getting home from training, when an interesting sight met her gaze. About 100yds ahead of her Ebisu was stumbling drunkenly out of a bar, managing to avoid a head on collision with the lamp post in front of him only to careen wildly of off the curb and land in the road on his ass.

Hinata blinked to make sure she wasn't seeing things. When he was still there, picking himself up on wobbly and unsure legs, she activated her byakugan to check for any sort of henge or genjutsu, but none was present. She was actually witnessing the straight-laced and upstanding sensei stumble around in Konoha's streets completely sloshed, and looking very confused as to what direction he should be heading.

Being the nice person that she is, Hinata decided to help. So she started walking in his direction. Unfortunately, Hinata had no idea where Ebisu lived, and she certainly couldn't bring him to the Hyuuga compound in his current condition. But that was ok, because she knew someone else that lived close by.

"H-hello Ebisu-san." She said upon reaching him. He spun around and blinked owlishly at her for a moment before attempting to bow to her. He failed miserably at this and ended up face planting instead.

"Ah ound itso umpy ay." He said into the dirt.

"Um, what was that Ebisu-san, I couldn't quite hear you," Hinata replied, looking exasperated. He sat up and spit out a mouthful of dirt before turning to her.

"I said, the ground is so jump*hic*y today." He swayed dangerously despite his sitting condition.

"Um, why don't you come with me and we'll get you off the street until some of the alcohol has worked its way from your system." Hinata stated as she picked Ebisu up off the ground and threw one of his arms around her shoulder. He blinked like he was trying to understand what she had said. When he finally did he began to shake his head violently.

"No, no," he began, "You've got it all wrong."

"Oh." Hinata responded, starting down the street. Now he was nodding.

"I swear to drunk I'm not God." He declared triumphantly, smiling at Hinata winningly. The effect was ruined completely by the angle at which his glasses were currently sitting on his face.

"Of course not." Hinata responded in a soothing voice. Ebisu nodded once at this and was quiet for the rest of the short trip. He looked up as they ascended the steps onto the porch of a small but well kept house. He squinted his eyes in thought as Hinata knocked on the door.

"I think I know this *hic* place." he stated. Just then the door swung open.

"Um, h-hi Iruka-sensei," Hinata began as Iruka repeated the blink to be sure you're really seeing what you think you are process Hinata went through earlier, minus byakugan. "I, uh, found Ebisu-san a few blocks from here and this was the closest place I could think of to come. I hope you don't mind." She looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"Of course not Hinata-chan." He said, now convinced this wasn't some weird illusion. "Let me get him for you." Iruka then proceeded to lift Ebisu, carry him to the couch, deposit him onto it, and stand over him, arms crossed, gazing down at his fellow educator in confusion and disbelief.

"You're smashed Ebisu-sensei." He stated simply after a minute of watching the other man play with the tassels on his couch pillow. Once again, Ebisu did the violent head shaking. Hinata was starting to worry that his head was going to roll away.

"I'm not as think as you drunk I am." Ebisu said seriously, though a little slurred.

"I don't think everything he drank has hit him yet." Hinata said worriedly. Iruka turned to look at her and sighed.

"Yes, I'm afraid he's going to be out of it for sometime, and it's most likely going to get worse before it gets better. I'm sorry for any inconvenience this has caused you Hinata-chan."

"Oh, n-not at all Iruka-sensei. I'm just glad I could help." They both turned to look at Ebisu, who had swung himself around, rather clumsily, and was currently making faces at Iruka's fish. "I'm sorry I brought this problem to your doorstep," she sighed, as Iruka had to take hold of Ebisu's wrist before the man could plunge it into the tank, "literally."

Iruka smiled and shook his head, "You know I'm always here Hinata-chan." He replied, then ruffled her hair as if she was still the small child he used to teach, and not a lovely young women of 19. "I'm going to grab some pain killers from the bathroom. Would you mind getting him a glass of water?"

"Of course." Hinata responded, hurrying towards the kitchen,

As Iruka emerged from the bathroom he was shocked to see Ebisu pulling a surprised Hinata into his lap.

"Did I eva' tell ya bout the time I ended up ona mission wich your dad?" Ebisu was asking, swaying slightly, his arms locked around the small womens waist as she tried to free herself without hurting the inebriated man. Iruka had a bad feeling about where this story was heading, and judging by the look on Hinata's face, so did she. "Ya see we had to imful-intel-infrel, ah."

"Infiltrate?" Hinata provided helpfully.

"Ya, that, so we had to impregnate this ring of flesh peddlers…"

"Okay!" Iruka interrupted, blushing, "I think that may be a story best left for another time." At this he pulled a grateful Hinata off of Ebisu's lap and handed the other man a couple of pills. Ebisu looked down at the pills in his hand, then up at Iruka, and then at Hinata, who was standing just behind Iruka's left shoulder. He glance back and forth between the two and then smiled wickedly.

"Oooo, Iruka-sensei," he sing songed, "how very naughty of you." Iruka shot a confused glance at Hinata who shrugged, an equally bewildered look on her face, before they both looked back to the hammered man taking up residence on Iruka's couch. "I mean, sheeze very pretty, but a former student."

Iruka's jaw dropped as Ebisu's meaning became clear.

"Wait, no no, that's not at all.." He tried to cut the other off, but Ebisu wasn't done yet.

"It's kinda sweet. And she does have da best knockers outta da rooky nine."

"Alright! That's enough!" Iruka exclaimed, now red to the roots of his hair, though it was hard to tell if it was from anger or embarrassment. Ebisu snickered drunkenly up at him. Iruka continued in his best enraged teacher voice, "That is completely inappropriate. I can't believe that you would insinuate that. This is exactly how terrible rumors start. Do you want Hiashi to castrate me and.." at this he was cut off by Hinata's hand on his shoulder. He looked back at her to find her pointing at Ebisu, who Iruka had failed to notice was now unconscious, and drooling on his couch cushions. Iruka ran a hand down his face and took a deep breath to calm down. He glanced at Hinata to find her trying to work the color out of her own face.

"U-um. I th-think," she began, and Iruka braced himself for the young women to bolt from his door and return with an army of angry Hyuuga's, "that we should m-mess with him while he's passed out."

Iruka stood in shock for a moment before an evil grin spread itself across his face.

"I'll go get the sharpies."


End file.
